Swati Abbott, Director | Talkspace
While the exact number remains uncertain, research estimates that 1.3 to 1.4 million caregivers in the United States are under 18 years old. This situation, known as parentification, occurs when children assume adult responsibilities within their families. Such roles can hinder their ability to engage in normal childhood activities like play, friendships, and academic success.
The term "parentification" was first introduced by family therapist Salvador Minuchin in the late 1960s and further defined by psychiatrist Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy in 1973. It describes a role reversal where a child becomes the caregiver for their family.
Parentification is categorized into two types: emotional and instrumental. Emotional parentification involves children providing emotional support to parents or siblings, acting as confidants or mediators. Instrumental parentification requires children to undertake practical tasks such as cooking, cleaning, or managing household duties.
Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple explains that this dynamic can cause children to miss important developmental milestones and may lead to trauma in adulthood. She states: “When children become responsible for caring for themselves and their siblings, they often skip important developmental milestones."
Several factors contribute to parentification:
- Family dysfunction due to issues like substance abuse or mental health conditions.
- Parental absence caused by death, divorce, incarceration, or emotional unavailability.
- Cultural expectations where children contribute early to family welfare.
- Economic hardships requiring additional responsibilities from children.
- Intergenerational trauma where patterns of parentification repeat across generations.
The effects of being a parentified child can extend into adulthood with issues such as increased anxiety and stress, loss of childhood experiences, difficulties setting boundaries, people pleasing tendencies, chronic guilt, burnout, low self-worth, intimacy challenges, and hyper-independence.
Chapple notes: “Mental health struggles or substance use problems can lead to a role reversal." Healing from these experiences involves reclaiming lost childhood aspects through inner child work and setting healthy boundaries.
Therapy plays a crucial role in addressing these past wounds. Talkspace offers online therapy options that provide accessible support for individuals seeking help with overcoming the impact of parentification.
Chapple emphasizes the importance of therapy: “A therapist can help guide someone through the process of reparenting themselves." The process includes rebuilding identity separate from past roles and developing coping mechanisms through therapeutic approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and trauma-informed therapy.
Recognizing patterns from childhood is key to healing from parentification's effects. Therapy provides a safe environment for exploring past experiences while building resilience against them.