Michael Hansen, Director | Talkspace
Marriage counseling is often considered by couples facing ongoing relationship challenges. Experts suggest that counseling can help partners improve communication, rebuild trust, and develop healthier ways to resolve conflict.
According to Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC, “When working on relationship issues, it’s helpful to have a neutral third party to provide a different perspective and a space where open communication can happen. Marriage counseling provides that opportunity as therapists work with both partners to find the solutions and skills that will help clients find the path that works best for both of them. It allows for that open communication as mediation can occur and learning of healthier communication skills can be modeled.”
Counseling sessions typically offer a structured environment where both individuals are encouraged to share openly. Therapists often focus on helping couples identify underlying issues that may not be immediately apparent. This approach aims to address deeper problems such as unresolved resentment or unmet needs.
Relationship researchers Drs. John and Julie Gottman have identified four negative communication patterns—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—that they say can predict divorce if left unaddressed. Their research indicates that these behaviors erode trust over time but can be replaced with healthier habits through counseling.
The effectiveness of marriage counseling depends on several factors. Both partners need to be willing to participate and open to change. Early intervention before resentment builds up tends to yield better results. As Chung notes, “It’s often hard for people to be open and honest completely as it requires a person to be vulnerable. However, to get the most benefit from marriage counseling, Vulnerability, honesty, and openness is key to finding the improvements within the relationship. Relationships are a two way road, both parties have to travel the road and trust the other won’t serve or not start at all.”
However, there are situations where counseling may not lead to reconciliation. If only one partner is committed or if abuse is present in the relationship, therapy may not be appropriate or effective. Additionally, seeking therapy as a last resort after emotional disengagement has occurred might result in closure rather than reconnection.
Chung emphasizes realistic expectations: “Couple’s seek marriage counseling for different reasons and when they come in as ‘last ditch effort.’ It’s important to clarify that all possibilities are on the table but none are guaranteed. In other words, working on realistic expectations over unrealistic expectations often sets the stage for marriage counseling.”
Common signs that indicate couples could benefit from therapy include frequent unresolved arguments, persistent breakdowns in communication, feelings of emotional distance, ongoing trust issues such as infidelity or secrecy, and difficulty navigating major life transitions.
For those who find it challenging to attend traditional in-person sessions due to busy schedules or distance between partners, online platforms like Talkspace offer an alternative by connecting couples with licensed professionals remotely.
While marriage counseling does not guarantee saving every relationship, it provides tools for improving connection and making informed decisions about the future.